i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
