I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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