the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
