I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize