Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
