# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize