I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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