So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
