"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
