I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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