Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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