it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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