real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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