i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
