after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
