i may or may not be watching the land before time
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
