ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
