Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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