I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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