You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
