This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
