so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
