I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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