A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
