My sheets look like a crime scene.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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