it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
