The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
