Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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