I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You can't special order awesome
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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