Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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