Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize