Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
