My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
