We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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