guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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