Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
