the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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