dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
