She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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