When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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