Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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