hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
