a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
