I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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