So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
