Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Found your dick twin last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
