Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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