So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
