Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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