Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
