I wannas sexs uuuuu
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
