would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
