I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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