someone threw a dead crab at me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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