I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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