yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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