1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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