Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
