There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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