I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Barsexuality is the new black.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize